It is the year 2010 and Noah lives in the United States.

The Lord speaks to Noah and says:  "In one year I am going to make it rain and cover the whole Earth with water until all is destroyed.  But I want you to save the righteous people and two of every kind of living thing on the Earth.  Therefore, I am commanding you to build an Ark."

In a flash of lightnening, God delivered the specifications for the Ark.

Fearful and trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed to build the Ark.

"Remember," said the Lord, "You must complete the Ark and bring everything aboard in one year."

Exactly one year later, a fierce storm cloud covered the Earth and all the seas of Earth went into a tumult.  The Lord saw Noah sitting in his front yard weeping.

"Noah."  He shouted, "Where is the Ark?"

"Lord please forgive me!" cried Noah.  "I did my best but there were big problems.

First, I had to get a permit for construction and Your plans did not comply with government codes.  So I had to hire an engineer to redraw Your plans.  Then I got into a fight with OSHA about adding a fire sprinkling system and floatation devices.

Then my neighbor objected, claiming I was violating zoning ordinances by building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the City Planning Commission.

I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to protect the Spotted Owl.  I did finally convince the US Forest Service that I needed the wood to save the owls, but the Fish and Wildlife Service won't let me catch any owls... So, no owls.

The carpenters formed a union and went on strike, so I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labor Union to get them back building.  Now I have 16 extra carpenters, but still no owls.

And the ACLU got the courts to issue an injunction against further construction of the Ark, saying that since God is flooding the Earth, it is a religious event and therefore unconstitutional.

Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that I am practicing discrimination by not taking the unrighteous godless, unbelieving people aboard!

I just got a notice from the State that I owe some kind of user tax and failed to register the Ark as a "recreational water craft."  The IRS has seized all my assets.

Finally, the EPA notified me that I can't build any further without filing an Environmental Impact Statement and sending a map of the proposed new flood plain to the Army Corps of Engineers.

I sent them a globe, but they didn't take kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of the Creator of the Universe.

Lord, I really don't think I can finish the Ark for several more years!"  Noah wailed.

But the sky began to clear, the sun began to shine and the seas began to calm.  A rainbow arched across the clear bright sky.

Noah looked up and asked hopefully, "You mean you are not going to destroy the Earth, Lord?"

"No," the Lord said sadly, "The government has already taken care of that."

-Author Unknown (came from a forwarded e-mail)